Tag: carpediem

Today, Not Someday.

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A Humpback Whale breaching just outside the harbour
Sydney, NSW

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

– Mark Twain

“I’ll do that someday.”

Do you catch yourself saying that a lot?

There are so many things I want to do but I put it off for “someday”. I want to do it, I hope I can do it, I wish I can do it, I dream I can do it, I even pray that I can do it; but when the opportunity finally makes itself available, I don’t do it.

I’ve given myself a “someday” for just about everything I’ve ever wanted to do:

Someday, I’ll lose weight. Someday, I’ll learn how to use the weights at the gym. Someday, I’ll go bungee jumping. Someday, I’ll go skydiving. Someday, I’ll go on a road trip. Someday, I’ll go to grad school. Someday, I’ll put myself out there and meet new people. Someday, I’ll travel every continent.

Someday.

New Years Day at the Sydney Opera House
January 1, 2019

The moment before that picture was taken (above), I made the decision to stop dreaming about living in Australia someday, and to just go for it.

Five months later, I began my one year Radical Sabbatical here in beautiful Sydney, Australia!

As I continue to journey along this season of (f)unemployment, I’ve decided to do some of the things I’ve always wanted to do but never gave myself an opportunity to do.

I made so many excuses not to do them:

  1. I had to work
  2. I didn’t have enough money
  3. I didn’t have the free time
  4. I needed to hand in an assignment
  5. I’ll go someday
Whale Watching
Sydney, Australia
July 9, 2019

I’ve always wanted to go Whale Watching. I lived in the West Coast of Canada, there are so many opportunities to go Whale Watching and see our beautiful Orca Whales or Dolphins swim and breach along our coast.

I was in Circular Quay on Monday, trying to figure out what I wanted to do during the week (I have a lot of free time on my hands, as you can tell). There were multiple booths for Whale Watching, I walked up to each one and asked them about pricing and the schedule. The average price was about $90 (something I was not that thrilled to pay for). I walked over to one of the last booths which was Captain Cook Cruises, and they told me I could go the next afternoon for $55.

Sold.

I walked up the Wharf on Tuesday. It was quite a lineup to get onto the Catamaran. Fortunately, when you’re the solo traveler, you can get any open seat at the upper deck (yay).

We were given complimentary Barf Bags (so thoughtful). I chuckled to myself when they were being handed out. The waters didn’t seem that rough?

HAH!

Once we left the harbour, the boat was hopping on the waves and you couldn’t walk on the boat without holding onto something (guess who fell down the stairs, sigh). People were using those bags, some people used theirs up and were going off the side of the boat, and one guy didn’t make it past opening the washroom door (everywhere … it was everywhere).

Helpful Tip: stay hydrated, but don’t eat before you go onto the open waters.

Anyway, the scenery was breath taking. You look back and can see all of the cliffs, beaches, and the city skyline. Ugh, what a view!

Then you look out into the water and you realize you’re on sailing the Pacific Ocean. The wind was blowing, the sun was out, there was not a cloud in the sky.

The Skipper slowed the ship down, and we were told over the loud speaker that there were two hump back whales swimming ahead. Moments later, we had a pod of dolphins (you can look at some short clips in the instagram post above).

People who know me well will tell you I am one of the most emotional people you’ll ever meet.

I was a wreck watching these mammals come up for air.

Fortunately, I wasn’t the only one on this ship that appreciated the opportunity we were experiencing because there were a lot of people crying.

Phew.

Climb Fit
Kirrawee, NSW
July 10, 2019

The next day, my cousin was chatting with me at breakfast and asked what my plans were for the day?

I didn’t have any, was likely going to bum around the city.

She told me she was going to their her kids Indoor Rock Climbing and asked if I wanted to tag along?

I’ve always wanted to go, I just never had the time or anyone to go with so I jumped on the opportunity!

While I’ve never been too afraid of heights, there’s something about the idea of rock climbing climbing that has always made me queasy. Oh, and they don’t give helmets (seriously … even the ones I’ve seen in Manila, Philippines give you a helmet).

Nonetheless, my little cousin was belaying for me, and I faced my fears and climbed to the top (the video below is my 2nd climb … the first one I skinned my knee and cussed in the video, oops).

Climb Fit
Kirrawee, NSW
July 10, 2019

I woke up the next morning and realized that one year ago I finished the final class of my Bachelor of Arts in Leadership. To celebrate, I went into the city for a walk.

There’s a patch of grass as you enter The Rocks below one of the pillars of the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

I laid out in the sun, the calm breeze brought the subtle salt water smell to where I was. Boats sailed by, the running groups were training, and the cars and train going over the bridge made up the typical downtown noise.

I reflected on the significance of that moment.

On the evening we finished our class, Leading in the World.

We were asked by our instructor what our degrees would do for us once we walked out of the doors of the university?

Some of my colleagues said they would use their degrees to become teachers and others said they would become counsellors.

I’ve always said my degree would give me the courage to pursue my dream of being in Australia.

And it has.

I quit a job that I loved, paid off my debt, packed up my bags, and pursued a dream that was on my heart.

I left the only life that I knew back in Vancouver. I’ve pressed “restart” and have this rare opportunity to create a new identity, create new structure, meet new people, learn more about myself, try new things and take the time to find whatever it is that has drawn me to Australia.

I am living my dream right now; today, not someday.

Dawes Point (The Rocks)
Sydney, Australia
July 11, 2019

So, think about this:

What is that thing you’ve always wanted to do someday?

The big question:

What is stopping you from doing it today, not someday?

I hope you pursue the first thing that came to your heart.

I promise you, it’ll be so worth it!

Onwards,
-Zaighum

*Restart*

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“So take a deep breath,
Pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
Start all over again”
-Frank Sinatra

Soaked by sea spray and rain on the ferry to Manly, NSW
July 4, 2019

Friends, let me tell you something that I hope you’re able to accept.

You’re allowed to press the “restart” button.

Press it as often as you want and as many times as you may need.

Seriously, you’re allowed.

After my massive meltdown last weekend, crying over all of my expectations that have fallen a part, I’ve scrapped all of my plans and I’m taking things day by day.

I can afford to, so I will.

Since making this decision, I’ve never felt so free.

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be” – Mandy Hale

With all of my free time, I’ve been getting out of the house to see places I’ve never taken the time to actually enjoy.

On average, I’ve been walking doing anywhere from 15,000 to 30,000 steps per day.

On Tuesday, I was brought to Bondi to do the Bondi to Coogee walk, a scenic 6km trek in Sydney’s eastern suburbs.

There was a spot on our walk where we stood for a little while. We stood at the edge a cliff and stared at the waves crashing against the rocks below. The sun was setting, the wind blew a steady breeze, and it felt as though no one was around except for us.

I felt an overwhelming sense of peace come over me.

Something in my heart whispered:

“This moment.
This moment right here?
This is what you were waiting for.”

“Smell the ocean, feel the sky; let your soul and spirit fly” – Van Morrison

On Wednesday, I did my regular trip to Cronulla.

Cronulla isn’t a busy tourist attraction like Bondi or Manly. The locals know about it, and that’s how I like it.

School was still in session this week (school holiday’s started this weekend), so the beach was extra empty during the day.

I walked up the stairs and made my way towards one of the private beaches I found back in 2015.

I love the walk just to get there. You can see all the beautiful houses, the architecture is so fascinating. There are different types of flowers and plants as you go along, I asked if I could pet every dog that walked by, and played peek-a-boo with the kids in the strollers as they passed by.

There are different vantage points that you can stop at and just absorb the view.

When I finally arrived at the hidden beach, no one was there.

I literally had the entire beach to myself.

Bliss.

I curled up on a rock, rolled up my sweater to use it as a cushion as I rested my head.

The sand just beyond the rock was not blemished by footprints, the water was still, and you could hear different birds chirping overhead.

There was a moment when I said out loud, “isn’t this beautiful?”

I propped myself up and looked around.

I forgot I was alone.

That is one of the trade-off’s about packing up your life and relocating to the other side of the world for a little while.

I don’t know a lot of people here, and the people that I do know work during the day.

I’ll get used to this kind of solitude in time.

“We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch – we are going back form whence we came” – President John F. Kennedy

On Thursday, I took the ferry to Manly.

I stood on the outside deck. My hair was blowing in the wind, the ferry was bouncing over the waves, and I was drenched from the rain and sea spray.

There is so much beauty along that route, I hope you have a chance to see it for yourself.

I got off the ferry and just started walking towards the beach.

Things have changed since the last time I went there, but I knew the route.

I got to the edge of the beach and looked around.

“Left or right” I asked myself.

I turned right, and began to walk along the seawall.

Manly, NSW
July 4, 2019

I love being by the water.

I don’t really like swimming in it, but the walk is always nice.

I was in an area I’ve never been to, so I had to look around specific landmarks to make sure I remembered them in case I got lost (something I am prone to experiencing when I’m in this country).

Manly, NSW
July 4, 2019

As I was wandering up the hills, I stumbled upon this staircase.

I stood at the bottom for a little while. How cool do they look?

These stairs represent everything that is happening to me during my Radical Sabbatical.

There are different flights of stairs that are in front of me right now. I won’t know what’s at the top unless I start climbing them. Sure, the unknown can be scary, but you have no idea what you’re missing until you start climbing!

Is there a flight of stairs that you are standing in front of?

What’s stopping you from the climb?

I hope you find the courage to start and see where it leads.

I climbed the staircase and followed the trail.

There were different vantage points that I found, the view was breath taking!

I found a bench near the third picture (the cliff & waves). I needed to sit down, my feet were killing me.

I looked around at the different people just steps away from me.

A tradie (tradesperson) was leaned over a ledge smoking his cigarette while his workmate eating lunch and blasting music from the truck in the parking lot. A family of tourists were taking a selfie nearby, propping their phone into a tree (their selfie timer game is WAY stronger than mine). A couple of backpackers were lounged out at the vantage point nearby. There was another couple taking a nap in their car in the parking lot.

People watching is so fun.

It is such a privilege to be in a position to just “be” for a little while. I saved for months knowing this might be my reality; now I get to live it.

I have a few things planned this week:

  1. I’ve been going to the gym from 6:00am – 6:45am, Monday – Friday. The people I see always ask me, “why are you here at 6am when you don’t have to?!” They’re right … why am I waking up this early?! I’ll think I’ll start going to the 6:45am sessions.
  2. Two more weeks until the Sutherland2Surf! I’ve never ran more than 10km, let alone in a group of other runners. I need to train hard.
  3. Bar hopping on Friday, that’ll be a good time. My friend from my RSA Course is from New Zealand. She doesn’t really know people around here either; so a couple of wanderers out on the town? Should be a good time.
  4. The family is getting together on Saturday for Happy Hour! A family who likes Day Drinking? These are my peeps!

So, that’s two days planned out.

Everything else is going to be on the fly, I’ll likely plan them out as I walk back home from the gym.

What a life.

Hope you have a great week, friends; can’t wait to tell what happens next!

Onwards,
-Zaighum

I’m STILL (f)unemployed and it’s time to start enjoying it!

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“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the most of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” – Gilda Radner

Taking the Shuttle Bus into the City because there’s Track Work being done in the suburbs.
June 29, 2019

I can’t believe I’ve been (f)unemployed for a month.

I really thought I’d be getting ready to go back to work by now.

It didn’t actually hit me until I was on the bus going home.

I’ve sent 65 Resumes in under two weeks.

That’s right, 65.

Of the 65 resumes I’ve sent out, I’ve had ONE interview (by phone).

Yup, just one.

Both the Talent Acquisition Specialist and I agreed that while the job was perfect for me, I would be spending four hours per day on the train (two hours there, two hours back).

I had no choice but to go back to the drawing boards.

I was devastated.

All of my work experience, all of my education, all of my volunteerism.

Wasn’t that enough? Am I not enough?

Can you believe someone is this distraught about not working?

At the height of my emotional breakdown and identity crisis, I got a surprise phone call from a friend of mine living in Calgary, AB.

We did the usual catch up, then things got real.

He asked me how much I had saved to go on this trip? I brought what the Government of Australia asks Working Holiday Applicants to have in cash (or access to) when you arrive in the country. He asked me if I was alone? I wasn’t, I’m surrounded by family who I can reach within an hour. He asked me if there was food in the fridge? There definitely was. He asked me who I was staying with? I am staying with my cousin and her fiancé.

Then he asked, “then why are you in such a rush to go back to work?”

I was getting frustrated, I began to well up and my voice finally cracked as I said, “because I don’t know who I am without one.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “you did not pack up your life in Canada to just do the same thing in Australia.”

How fortunate am I to have friends who are willing to call me out on my shit?

I know of people who had it far worse when they did their working holiday and just came home early.

That won’t be me.

Sure, I’m not where I had planned to be, but I’m going to be just fine. Everything is falling into place (even though I can’t see it).

Who do you have in your life who can give you the tough love that you need to snap out of your pity party?

Perhaps you might need to give them a call and receive a pep talk.

Maybe you have to give someone a similar talk like the one I just got? I wasn’t expecting it or even asked for it … but oh, did I ever need it!

I’m blessed.

NO … MORE … PITY … PARTIES
June 25, 2019

“Our self-identity should be defined as who we are as individuals. What we do for work is only a piece of our lives.” – Rachael Tulipano

So, I’m pressing pause on actively looking for employment for a little while. My “coffee shop job” isn’t going anywhere after all.

#wearyourpride
June 30, 2019

What am I choosing to do to make the time pass by?

I signed up for a one month gym membership (yes, I did). An acquaintance of mine told me about circuit training that he did at F45 Training. I will be going to the 6am classes, something that I was doing three days a week back home; I’m upping the game to try and do five a week!

I signed up for the 11km run! Sutherland 2 Surf is on Sunday, July 21st! It starts off in Sutherland and takes you all the way down to Wanda Beach in my favourite area Cronulla. I’ve never ran this kind of distance before and I’m so excited to push myself to do reach this new personal achievement!

“Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it an remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”
Genesis 9:16 (NIV)
Cronulla, NSW
June 26, 2019

In order to get ready for my 11km run, I’ve decided I won’t just walk along my favourite beach … I’ll be running it! You can do a beautiful 10km run by running from South Beach to the Dunes and back. It’s a steady run along the boardwalk with beautiful ocean as far as your eye can see. I can’t wait!

Surry Hills, NSW
June 27, 2019

When I don’t have plans in the shire, you best believe I’ll be going into the city! On Thursday, I went out for coffee and brunch with a new friend. We ended up walking over 23,000kms around the city where we went bar hopping, saw new suburbs I’ve never been to, tried some new eateries, spoke about our education, and we even went dancing in an underground club. I actually enjoyed myself. Like, who am?!

The splitting headache that came the next morning.
June 28, 2019

I have a few items on the to-do list this week:

  1. Go to the Canadian Consulate and request my absentee ballot for our Federal Election (just because I’m in a different country, doesn’t mean I surrender my democratic duty as a Canadian)
  2. Continue to go Church Hopping to find a new community (super tough because a lot of these churches are quite conservative, sigh)
  3. Take my “not so little” cousin out into the city
  4. Buy more socks, another pair of jeans and flannel, it’s about to get colder (I think I’ll go to a few thrift shops for the flannel)
  5. Celebrate Canada Day (without Poutine, sigh)

As I kick off week three of my Radical Sabbatical, I’m retelling the valuable words from my friend Somi in my head:

“Zaighum, you are a human being, not a human doing”.

I hope they can help you on your own journey!

Onwards,
Zaighum

This is my “New Normal”

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Royal National Park
NSW, Australia
(June 22, 2019)

“If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” – Dolly Parton

Nothing is normal as I wrap up my first week in Australia.

For example, I have a the flu.

I do not get sick very often, this isn’t normal.

Today, I’ve been laying in bed with a bin full of kleenex on the floor beside me, bundled under the sheets, coughing and shaking, and lathered in every Filipino’s favourite remedy; Vicks (Biks) Vapour Rub.

Flu vs. Zaighum
Flu: 1 | Zaighum: 0

Evenings are getting as low as six degrees celsius in Sydney.

I’ve noticed that homes in Australia do a great job letting out the heat in the summer, but are not built for insulation in the winter.

I haven’t experienced an Australian winter since 2003, and I was only ten years old; I didn’t really pay attention to the temperature back then.

I’m currently sleeping under a sheet, a duvet, and two additional blankets.

I remember packing clothes in my suit cases and saying to myself, “Flannel? In Straya? I’ll leave this at home.”

Regret.

For someone who is (f)unemployed and on a Working Holiday, I have been quite busy. It’s been go-go-go since I landed, I really haven’t given myself a “day off”. While the home that I live in is absolutely beautiful, I’ve never enjoyed being cooped up inside. Now I’ve been forced to do the very thing I don’t like doing. This isn’t normal.

On Wednesday, I went out to the shops to buy some sweaters, windbreakers, and shoes. Everything was on sale (and of course I went to K-Mart for the cheap stuff).

I even bought interview friendly clothing. A pair of black shoes, some slacks, and a purple and blue button down.

It’s time to start looking for work, something I haven’t had to do since 2012.

I’m not looking for anything specific, doesn’t need to be full time, doesn’t need to be in my field. Just needs to be something to do; I really need a social life and meet people.

I’ve sat in front of my computer looking through job postings on LinkedIn, scrolling through the hundreds of jobs that sound interesting and that meet my skill-set.

I really don’t know what I’m going to do.

Here’s the thing about being on a Working Holiday Visa in Australia:

  1. You can work for any company for a maximum of six months
  2. You cannot accept a Government job or work at a bank
  3. IF you want to stay an additional year, you must do specified work in a rural area of the country; usually some type of agriculture job

Now let’s be real here.

Can you imagine me working on some farm in the middle of nowhere?

If you saw the episode of Schitts Creek where the Amish basically begged David’s family to take him back; that would be me if I had to do specified work.

Schitts Creek
Season 2, Episode 1
Finding David

I love being in Australia, I don’t love it that much.

Not a lot of companies want to hire someone, train them, integrate them into their system, then have them leave in six months.

I don’t blame them; but I wish they would give me a chance.

A lot of people have asked me why I would be stupid enough to move to the other side of the world without a job.

It’s a valid question, at times I ask myself the same thing.

I’ve been asked time and again why I didn’t try and arrange a job with my previous employer.

It’s not that easy.

You see, I’ve wanted to come to Australia since 2015 but one of the things stopping me was my love for my job.

So I used to hold onto this idea of living in the country I loved and work for the company that I loved.

You know the saying, “have your cake and eat it too”; that’s what I had hoped for.

I worked hard to build my network, I visited our Australia office in 2015, 2016 and 2018. I turned “LinkedIn Connections” into friends.

My colleagues in Australia encouraged me to pursue this dream. They would tell me, “you need to move to Australia already, there will always be work here,”

It wasn’t a promise for work, or a commitment in any way/shape/form. It was a possibility, a glimmer of hope; and it was the push I needed to pursue my dream.

So, I wrote some thank you cards to some of my old colleagues who are now my “mates” (their word, not mine; you’ll never hear me call someone “mate”. I prefer “friend” or “pal”) to simply say “thank you” for giving me the hope that I needed to pursue my radical sabbatical. Regardless of their decision, I couldn’t have gotten here without them.

McDonald’s Australia (Maccas) National Office
Thornleigh, NSW, Australia
(June 21, 2019)

Now, enough about the rant of my work struggles, let me tell you what I’ve been up to!

I finally went for a run this week, I need to find a new way to stay active while I’m here. I did 5km in my neighbourhood, it was glorious. I’m training for a 1/2 Marathon in Vancouver when I come back in 2020, I need to start training now. There’s an 11km run coming up called the Sutherland 2 Surf, all the locals have been telling me about it. I think I’m going to do it, it looks like a lot of fun. I might as well do something with all the free time that I have, right?

I did the usual tourist thing in the city. I went down to Circular Quay to see the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Sydney Opera House. I can’t even count how many times I’ve visited the area just to look at both sites; they continue to take my breath away.

  • Sydney Harbour Bridge
    (June 21, 2019)
  • Sydney Opera House
    (June 21, 2019)

I went for a hike on Saturday with my cousin, Mahrck (Bubz to all of us). We went to Royal National Park. I’m very fortunate that it’s really just around the corner from where I live down in Engadine. You gotta look at this post I made on Instagram, the video of the water crashing along the rocks literally brought me to tears; I still cannot believe I live here!

  • Royal National Park
    (June 22, 2019)
  • Royal National Park
    (June 22, 2019)

This is my new normal. I am letting go of the obsession of being in control and instead, face my radical sabbatical day-by-day. In doing this, I feel like I’m stranded in the rain (and it’s actually supposed to rain all week, sigh). Nothing is working out the way I had planned:

  1. No job (not that I can even start till after July 1st)
  2. Haven’t determined my running route (I know the beach route, need to figure out the neighbourhood root); I really need to get active once again
  3. No social life; I need some hobbies (that’ll come with work and getting out of the house more often)
  4. Wasted an entire day in my home due to the flu

I need to stop planning, and instead live in the present; truly embrace “Carpe Diem” – seize the day.

So, as I sit on the couch, bundled under a blanket with the rugby game playing in the background, I am reminding myself of two VERY important realities:

  1. I am on a Working Holiday Visa, emphasis on the HOLIDAY part. I’m here because I was burnt out from my life in Vancouver and needed to completely disrupt my reality.
  2. I JUST got here. I have 51 more weeks in this country and I can make it up as I go. It’s not all going to be figured out in one week and it may not be figured out until I leave.

I catch myself saying, “Zaighum, you need to be kind to yourself.” Try that sometimes, we are our own worst critic after all.

Are you in the midst of your own excessive rain fall? The torrential down pour can be frustrating, especially where you don’t see the sun breaking through the clouds. Sometimes we try and find shelter in things that still let the rain in or get completely blown away in the storm.

Don’t lose hope.

The rain will pass. The clouds will break. The sun will shine.

Your rainbow is coming.

Can’t wait to tell you what happens in Week 2, I think I’m going on a road trip…

Onwards,
Zaighum