What’s Most Impressive is not Always Most Important

“To change your life, you need to change your priorities.”

Mark Twain

One of the most significant lessons I have learned in the five months that I’ve been in Australia is the difference between what’s most impressive and what’s most important.

Here are some examples from my own life:

Impressive: I worked for a globally recognized brand. In my job, I have been able to visit markets in Alberta (Canada), Saskatchewan (Canada), Ontario (Canada), Illinois (USA), Manila (Philippines) and New South Wales (Australia). I have personally met or corresponded with executives and leaders throughout the global system, to the point where we are on a first name basis.

Important: As a part of my role, I had the unique opportunity to approve donation and sponsorship requests for organizations and non-profits that supported families in need, at risk children and youth, local sports teams, and large scale community events.

Impressive: While working full time, I completed my Bachelor of Arts in Leadership in an 18 Month accelerated program and graduated with Great Distinction.

Important: After dropping out of University in 2015, I honoured my mothers wish of seeing her only child complete a degree in the country she immigrated to over twenty years ago.

Impressive: While in Australia, I lost over 25lbs and have kept the weight off. I dropped two pant sizes and a shirt size.

Important: I have learned to love myself and make myself a priority by getting into a regular workout routine and incorporating balanced meals into my diet.

Impressive: I found a job in Australia that gives me a generous rate, allows work life balance, has taken me around the country, gives me flexibility to work four days a week.

Important: I have an opportunity to help a small business significantly improve their operations and efficiency to best serve their clients and the meaningful connections I have made in almost four months of being there has made my time in Australia less lonely.

We often put all of our energy into the things that are most impressive – they are things that look great to other people but sometimes offer us zero personal fulfillment.

What gets left behind and often forgotten is what’s most important – the thing that often serves others instead of ourselves; the thing that often serves a higher purpose than our own.

Think about it for just a moment? What would happen if you put in all of your energy into what’s most important instead of what’s most impressive?

Alexandria, NSW
(October 30, 2019)

When I arrived in Australia, I had not let go of my career. I desperately wanted to jump right back in with the Australian office which I was in communication with every month leading up to my arrival. It would have been so cool to continue my work with a global company in another market in another country? That would be pretty impressive, eh?

That being said, my friend Kyle who ultimately left Australia to live in Canada gave me a massive reality check one day while I cried to him on the phone. Should I have been given the opportunity, I would have gone back to the life I had left behind in Vancouver. I would have gone back to working 5 – 6 days a week, multiple hours of unseen overtime, glued to my work phone, responding to emails that could have waited until the next day, and filling my free time with finding something else work related to fill it with. Oh, and the commute there and back would be three and a half hours a day.

So, when the job offer came from that company to support them in their Customer Service Call Centre for one of their largest nationwide campaigns, I faced quite the predicament: play it safe and go back to what I knew or be patient for the right opportunity to present itself.

Nevertheless, I presented some terms to counter their offer: I wanted to work Part-Time, just four days a week, Monday to Thursday would suffice and I would take the job.

They said, “No.”

I realized my value and what I needed from a company while I was in Australia. I reminded myself, I am in this country on a Work & Holiday Visa; I need to work to fund my holiday – and I need to enjoy every moment of my holiday. That is important.

So I moved on.

I chose me, and I don’t regret one minute of it.

Engadine, NSW
(November 1, 2019)

You see, when you choose to focus on what’s most important vs. what’s most impressive, a transformation within you occurs.

It’s very liberating.

Staying true to what I needed from an employer, I sought jobs that would allow me to work part-time and in an environment where I could meet new people.

Today, I live and breathe it – at least for the six months that the Australian Government allows me to work there.

I am so thankful I waited for the right opportunity, for I have met some extraordinary individuals who have changed my life for the better.

Kicking off the “Full Send”
Iron Duke Hotel
(October 25, 2019)

One of the strengths of my employer and his company is the ability to take random strangers from all around Australia, and bring them to a place where they identify common interests, passions, desires, personalities etc.

That’s just at the events.

Now, imagine a bunch of strangers from different walks of life finding this place of work. Where we see each other at least five days a week, for eight hours a day, and learning more and more about each other as the days go by. A bond begins to build, you see things in them you strive to achieve. While some only worked there for a season, in that time we were able to build a relationships that went beyond the workplace.

Back in Canada, I used to give the sarcastic response to, “How’re you doing?” with, “Oh, I’m living the dream.”

When Australians ask me, “How’re you going?”, I can honestly, whole heartedly, without a shred of uncertainty, look a them in the eye and say, “I’m living the dream!”

Choosing to pack up my life and move to Australia was impressive, but why I have chosen to stay is important.

F A M I L Y

I always felt disconnected as everyone in my family lives in Australia and the Philippines, while I lived in Canada. Sometimes, they would visit us and sometimes, I would visit them.

I wanted to learn who they were, what’s their story, and where is there common ground.

There is one person who brings us all together, despite our differences and that person is my Granny.

Mount Druitt, NSW
(November 10, 2019)

In the year 2000, she came to Canada to live with us. In 2002, she came to visit us again. In 2003, I lived in Australia with her. In 2010, we visited her in the Philippines to celebrate her birthday. In 2015, I visited Australia and lived with her while I was here. In 2016, I visited her twice a day, everyday in the nursing home she was living in. In 2018, I went to the Philippines to celebrate her 90th birthday. In 2019, she was brought back to Australia and I was given one more opportunity to be near her.

You see, she now has dementia. She barely remembers who you are, and when she does she becomes overwhelmed with emotion and then quickly forgets who you are until you remind her again.

While this can be an exhausting and sometimes frustrating pattern, it is very beautiful with her childlike innocence.

We received a phone call letting us know she was going to be brought back to the Philippines as her health took a sudden turn and perhaps being in a familiar environment surrounded by her family in the Philippines would help improve her health; it has in the past.

So we all went to see her, and despite the drama that comes with every big family, we put it all aside to see our matriarch for what could be the last time and it was such a great time – my heart was full.

Cronulla, NSW
(November 9, 2019)

My cousin, Nina came to visit from the rural areas of New South Wales for a weekend. It’s always great to see her, she doesn’t come up very often as it’s about an 8 hour drive to get to Sydney from where they are.

Nevertheless, she finds time and I was fortunate to squeeze in a visit with her.

While Nina has many accomplishments: married to her high school sweet heart, three beautiful children, a great job as a Teacher – one of the most significant ones is she is the only one in our family to have gone to Grad School! Yup, my cousin recently finished her Masters of Teacher Librarianship – the first to reach that level of higher education.

I always knew I would not be content with my undergrad, but I also did not believe I had the ability to complete grad school, let alone be accepted into a program. However, watching my cousin and her resilience in completing her graduate studies while being a full time teacher, a mother, a wife, and running a household was just the kick in the ass that I needed.

So, I applied for Grad School.

I’ve been met with some success in offers and have also been greeted with some rejection.

To date, the most significant offer I’ve been given is by the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences at the University of Technology Sydney to complete a Master of Education in Learning and Leadership.

While I’m extremely grateful for all of the graduate study offers I’ve been given to date, I have to weight out all of my options as I determine what program will best serve me in reaching my goals.

University of Technology Sydney
Sydney, NSW
(November 22, 2019)

So, that’s what I’ve been up to these days. I have seven more months of my Radical Sabbatical to spend learning, growing, and exploring – we are entering the summer months in Australia, I am very excited!

I am choosing to make a conscious effort everyday to put my energy into what’s most important vs. what’s most impressive.

How about you? What would your life start looking like if you poured more of yourself into what’s most important vs. what’s most impressive?

Looking at every situation you’re faced with using that pre-frame will change your life.

After all, it changed mine.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…” – Dr. Seuss
Engadine, NSW
(November 22, 2019)

Onwards,
-Zaighum

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing, and That’s Okay.

This picture was taken shortly after our Captain said, “Ladies & Gentlemen, we are making our final descent into Sydney”

“It’s better to look back on life and say, ‘I can’t believe I did that,’ than to look back and say, ‘I wish I did that.'” – Unknown

Jet lagged.

I woke up yesterday morning at 2am, then 4am, then 5am, then finally wide awake at 8am.

Sydney, Australia is 17 hours ahead from Vancouver, Canada.

I rolled out of bed and made my way into the kitchen. The kettle was already on, Mark (my cousin’s fiancé) was on the computer a few steps away, and it was time for breakfast. A cup of tea and some toast with honey and peanut butter was my chosen meal. I walked onto the deck and sat at the bottom of the steps. It was hitting me, I was actually here.

I live in Engadine, a suburb in Southern Sydney. Engadine is located about 45 minutes (by train) from the Sydney CBD (Central Business District) in the local government area of the area I grew up in, Sutherland Shire.

Mark’s home is at the end of his street. He put his heart and soul into building it. It’s has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a massive kitchen with a centre island, and a large living/dining area. The windows allow for the natural light to shine in when there’s sun. The deck looks over the backyard which has swimming pool, granny flat (a rental unit) with private gazebo, and greenery as far as the eye can see. Beside the swimming pool, there is an outdoor kitchen area which Mark and my cousin Lovella call “Banksia Bar”, which has a built in BBQ, full service bar and kitchen, plenty of seating, and even a washroom.

When I opened the cupboard, this was the only mug available. How fitting? It takes a lot of strength to completely disrupt your routine and move to the other side of the world to follow a dream. It’s an accomplishment.
(I need to keep reminding myself that it is an accomplishment)

Once you arrive in Australia, there are two things you need to get in order:

  1. Lodge a request for a Tax File Number (TFN)
  2. Open up a Bank Account

I finished the application for the TFN in a few minutes and was informed I would receive it within 28 Days.

If you do a Working Holiday in Australia, you should open a bank account with nab (National Australia Bank). All you need to open your account is:

  1. Passport
  2. Boarding Pass (from your flight into Australia)
  3. Drivers License
  4. Working Holiday Visa Grant Number
  5. A phone number

Sounds like a simple process, right?

Of course not, because I have to do it.

First, I walked out of the train station and wandered up and down the streets looking for the bank. Google Maps failed to tell me that the bank was inside the mall (sigh). Once I got into the mall, the directory made no sense to me and I wandered the halls for about fifteen minutes. When I finally found the bank, they were lined out the door. Once it got to my turn, I was told the next available appointment with an account manager wouldn’t be for another two hours.

After killing time shopping (which is always dangerous when you do not have a source of income), I went back to the bank for my appointment.

I met James, one of the account manager’s. He was awesome, super personable; kindest guy you’ll ever meet. He recently got married, and him and his wife will be doing a one month trip in South America.

As he was setting up my account, he asked me what I planned to do while in Australia?

He was the first local to ask me that question.

I sat there in front of him and stared at the table between us; the small funds I had brought over with me, my travel documents, and papers to sign scattered across the top.

I looked up at him, unsure what to say.

You see, I have a series of well calculated and politically correct responses to this question. I’ve been giving variations for the last two weeks, perhaps you’ve heard them:

  1. I’m going to go on adventures
  2. Find work that relates to my field of study
  3. Looking to expand my personal and professional life experience
  4. It’s my “eat, pray, love” year
  5. Following my dream of living abroad

The pressure of always having these carefully thought out responses has been exhausting.

I smiled at him. James doesn’t know me. We just met and we will likely never see each other again. I am one of the hundreds of clients he will meet over the next six months, so I had nothing to lose by speaking my truth.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, and that’s okay.”

I paused waiting to see what his reaction was going to be.

“That’s so inspiring, I’m so excited for you!”, he exclaimed.

It was?

Relocating to the other side of the world with a heart full of dreams and nothing lined up is inspiring?

Alright.

I need to allow myself to be okay with where I am at right now.

I cannot start work till July because that marks a new tax year for Australians. I need to revamp my resume and cover letter and begin reaching out to the network that I have built over the last four years to inquire about employment opportunities. I have to read over job opportunities, research the company, prepare questions, and go through an entire application/interview process. I need to be prepared for rejection; one of my biggest fears both personally and professionally.

I need to accept two things: I may not get the jobs that I have hoped for and I may need to settle for the serving job at the local cafe.

These are okay things.

I’ve already broken the traditional narrative that has been laid out for millennial’s to follow:

  1. Get a degree
  2. Get a job
  3. Build your career
  4. Start a family
  5. Buy a house
  6. Plan for retirement

No where in that narrative does it say: go and live.

My friend Somi called me before I flew out and said, “Zaighum, you are a human being, not a human doing.

So I finished my day in my favourite spot in Sutherland Shire, Cronulla Beach. I did my usual routine, walk along the boardwalk and just sit for awhile and just be.

Cronulla Beach, NSW, Australia
(June 18, 2019)

I was walking back to the train after my time of reflection and received a message through Instagram from a colleague I went to College with.

Here’s what she said:

“Hey Zaighum! I know we haven’t talked since our one class at Douglas (which was over five years ago) but I just wanted to say I’m so, so excited for you and this new chapter in your life. I have been following your updates vicariously and I felt the same excitement you felt when I decided to move to Thailand for a year. I know for a fact that you will learn so much about yourself, make life long memories, but more important, meet people that will inspire you. It’s going to be a crazy ride but it will be so worth it in the end. Best of luck, stay safe and simply be in the moment.”

By the moment I got to the end of the message I sat on a park bench with my face in my hands.

I’m not only going to be fine, I’m going to thrive.

So, if you are in a place in your life where you are not sure what the heck you’re doing, please accept these words:

That’s okay.

Onwards,
-Zaighum