Tag: nsw

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing, and That’s Okay.

Zaigh's2 Comments
This picture was taken shortly after our Captain said, “Ladies & Gentlemen, we are making our final descent into Sydney”

“It’s better to look back on life and say, ‘I can’t believe I did that,’ than to look back and say, ‘I wish I did that.'” – Unknown

Jet lagged.

I woke up yesterday morning at 2am, then 4am, then 5am, then finally wide awake at 8am.

Sydney, Australia is 17 hours ahead from Vancouver, Canada.

I rolled out of bed and made my way into the kitchen. The kettle was already on, Mark (my cousin’s fiancé) was on the computer a few steps away, and it was time for breakfast. A cup of tea and some toast with honey and peanut butter was my chosen meal. I walked onto the deck and sat at the bottom of the steps. It was hitting me, I was actually here.

I live in Engadine, a suburb in Southern Sydney. Engadine is located about 45 minutes (by train) from the Sydney CBD (Central Business District) in the local government area of the area I grew up in, Sutherland Shire.

Mark’s home is at the end of his street. He put his heart and soul into building it. It’s has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a massive kitchen with a centre island, and a large living/dining area. The windows allow for the natural light to shine in when there’s sun. The deck looks over the backyard which has swimming pool, granny flat (a rental unit) with private gazebo, and greenery as far as the eye can see. Beside the swimming pool, there is an outdoor kitchen area which Mark and my cousin Lovella call “Banksia Bar”, which has a built in BBQ, full service bar and kitchen, plenty of seating, and even a washroom.

When I opened the cupboard, this was the only mug available. How fitting? It takes a lot of strength to completely disrupt your routine and move to the other side of the world to follow a dream. It’s an accomplishment.
(I need to keep reminding myself that it is an accomplishment)

Once you arrive in Australia, there are two things you need to get in order:

  1. Lodge a request for a Tax File Number (TFN)
  2. Open up a Bank Account

I finished the application for the TFN in a few minutes and was informed I would receive it within 28 Days.

If you do a Working Holiday in Australia, you should open a bank account with nab (National Australia Bank). All you need to open your account is:

  1. Passport
  2. Boarding Pass (from your flight into Australia)
  3. Drivers License
  4. Working Holiday Visa Grant Number
  5. A phone number

Sounds like a simple process, right?

Of course not, because I have to do it.

First, I walked out of the train station and wandered up and down the streets looking for the bank. Google Maps failed to tell me that the bank was inside the mall (sigh). Once I got into the mall, the directory made no sense to me and I wandered the halls for about fifteen minutes. When I finally found the bank, they were lined out the door. Once it got to my turn, I was told the next available appointment with an account manager wouldn’t be for another two hours.

After killing time shopping (which is always dangerous when you do not have a source of income), I went back to the bank for my appointment.

I met James, one of the account manager’s. He was awesome, super personable; kindest guy you’ll ever meet. He recently got married, and him and his wife will be doing a one month trip in South America.

As he was setting up my account, he asked me what I planned to do while in Australia?

He was the first local to ask me that question.

I sat there in front of him and stared at the table between us; the small funds I had brought over with me, my travel documents, and papers to sign scattered across the top.

I looked up at him, unsure what to say.

You see, I have a series of well calculated and politically correct responses to this question. I’ve been giving variations for the last two weeks, perhaps you’ve heard them:

  1. I’m going to go on adventures
  2. Find work that relates to my field of study
  3. Looking to expand my personal and professional life experience
  4. It’s my “eat, pray, love” year
  5. Following my dream of living abroad

The pressure of always having these carefully thought out responses has been exhausting.

I smiled at him. James doesn’t know me. We just met and we will likely never see each other again. I am one of the hundreds of clients he will meet over the next six months, so I had nothing to lose by speaking my truth.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, and that’s okay.”

I paused waiting to see what his reaction was going to be.

“That’s so inspiring, I’m so excited for you!”, he exclaimed.

It was?

Relocating to the other side of the world with a heart full of dreams and nothing lined up is inspiring?

Alright.

I need to allow myself to be okay with where I am at right now.

I cannot start work till July because that marks a new tax year for Australians. I need to revamp my resume and cover letter and begin reaching out to the network that I have built over the last four years to inquire about employment opportunities. I have to read over job opportunities, research the company, prepare questions, and go through an entire application/interview process. I need to be prepared for rejection; one of my biggest fears both personally and professionally.

I need to accept two things: I may not get the jobs that I have hoped for and I may need to settle for the serving job at the local cafe.

These are okay things.

I’ve already broken the traditional narrative that has been laid out for millennial’s to follow:

  1. Get a degree
  2. Get a job
  3. Build your career
  4. Start a family
  5. Buy a house
  6. Plan for retirement

No where in that narrative does it say: go and live.

My friend Somi called me before I flew out and said, “Zaighum, you are a human being, not a human doing.“

So I finished my day in my favourite spot in Sutherland Shire, Cronulla Beach. I did my usual routine, walk along the boardwalk and just sit for awhile and just be.

Cronulla Beach, NSW, Australia
(June 18, 2019)

I was walking back to the train after my time of reflection and received a message through Instagram from a colleague I went to College with.

Here’s what she said:

“Hey Zaighum! I know we haven’t talked since our one class at Douglas (which was over five years ago) but I just wanted to say I’m so, so excited for you and this new chapter in your life. I have been following your updates vicariously and I felt the same excitement you felt when I decided to move to Thailand for a year. I know for a fact that you will learn so much about yourself, make life long memories, but more important, meet people that will inspire you. It’s going to be a crazy ride but it will be so worth it in the end. Best of luck, stay safe and simply be in the moment.”

By the moment I got to the end of the message I sat on a park bench with my face in my hands.

I’m not only going to be fine, I’m going to thrive.

So, if you are in a place in your life where you are not sure what the heck you’re doing, please accept these words:

That’s okay.

Onwards,
-Zaighum

Oh, the Places I’ll Go!

Zaigh's3 Comments
Vancouver International Airport (YVR)
Richmond, Canada

“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!” – Dr. Seuss

The day has finally come.

The last two weeks have flown by, and I am sitting here at the departure gate waiting for my Radical Sabbatical to begin.

I’ve been super emotional these last few days. It’s really sinking in; I’m actually pursuing my dreams.

Gratitude continues to be the word that comes into my head when I think of the last few months leading up to this moment. I worked right up to May 31st (an opportunity that was given to me by my previous employer, McDonald’s Restaurants of Canada) then I took my two weeks of (f)unemployment to go on my “Farewell Tour” where I saw some of my nearest and dearest.

It’s fascinating how life sometimes makes you forget how many people actually care about you?! I have felt so much love in these last few weeks; words of encouragement have flooded my phone and are helping me get through this extremely overwhelming time in my life.

Thank you to those of you who reached out and made time to host me in your homes or take me out for a meal. I have received an abundance of extremely thoughtful cards, gifts, and treats that I will cherish forever.

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go” – Dr. Seuss

My best friend Meghan drove me to the airport, as per usual. She was so gracious as I fumbled through my words and cried for the first leg of the drive. It’s not that I’m sad about leaving, I am just overwhelmed with every possible emotion and the output is tears. I know that in 365 days, she will be outside the arrival gates waiting for me to take me home. Gosh, I am fortunate to have a friend like her!

I went over to the mobile kiosk to print my boarding pass. I was speaking to the staff member about where I was going. She told me she went on a Working Holiday in her 20’s and told me I was in for the trip of a lifetime. Of course, I burst into tears when she asked me how I was feeling.

I got to the baggage check and was chatting with the agent. She asked me if I would like to upgrade to Premium Economy for $1,000 (I did not hesitate to decline). I did however change my isle seat on the left wing for an isle seat in the centre row because it’s looking like I’ll have the whole thing to myself (pppuuuhhhllleeezzzeee let that happen)! I weighed my bags and of course I was 1kg over the limit. I took out a jacket and the agent let me go through without any overage fees (thank you!!!).

Using my handy NEXUS card, I zipped through customs and spoke to some local Australians who would be joining my flight later tonight as we waited for our personal items to clear. They cheered me on as I shared my journey of embarking on my Radical Sabbatical; traveling brings so many people together!

Once I cleared customs and got to my gate, I sat on the floor in relief.

My anxiety passed, my nerves calmed, and I finally felt peace.

The adventure of infinite possibilities starts the moment the cabin doors close, and I am just ready to fall asleep.

Whenever I fly to Australia, I fly direct using Air Canada.
In approx. 14 Hours, you will arrive in either Sydney, Melbourne, or Brisbane

“And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!” – Dr. Seuss

I wish I knew what was ahead of me, yet in some ways I am glad I don’t.

Every single day is a new opportunity and I am blessed beyond words to be able to experience it.

“Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss
If you haven’t read this book, you MUST!

“So…
be your name Baubaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So … get on your way!” – Dr. Seuss

I hope you have enjoyed the glimpses of what’s going on in this head of mine over the last two weeks and I hope I’ve spiked your interest enough for you to follow the next 365 Days as I enter this season of self-discovery and find myself.

To see photo’s of my journey day-by-day, you can follow me on Instagram or find out who breaks my (f)unemployment streak by connecting with me on LinkedIn

Onwards,
-Zaighum

You Can’t Bring it all With You

Zaigh's1 Comment

I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m not a light packer. I usually take flights that allow two check-in’s, one carry-on, and a personal bag. I usually pack just enough to not have to pay overage fees.

I laid out my suitcases on the bed and began packing for the year. “Roll, don’t fold” I continued to tell myself as I packed my clothes. I evaluated my outfits. Would I wear this? If it was a yes, it went into the bag. If it was a no, it went back into my closet.

I’ve packed t-shirts, couple of long sleeves, some button downs, a mix of pants and shorts, and my favourite shoes; I haven’t even started with socks, underwear or my toiletries.

There are some gifts that were given to me that I need to bring: a personalized tumbler, some books, a polaroid camera, and a picture frame.

I don’t know why I bothered packing so many clothes. It isn’t necessary. I can buy clothes in Australia. Between K-Mart and Ops Shops (Thrift Stores), I can find cheap clothing as I need it.

So, I began to take things out of the bags.

“I can’t bring all of this”, I whispered to myself.

I stared at the bags on my bed and the mess on my floor. My breathing became heavy and tears began to stream down my face. I sat on the floor cupping my mouth to try and silence the sounds of my crying.

Uluru, Australia

“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.” – Najwa Zebian

No, the literal baggage that was in front of me was not the cause of my breakdown.

It was what they represented.

I was carrying too much in my heart; desperately carrying things that I needed to let go of before I leave:

  1. My obsession of seeking employment the moment I land. I continued to ask myself how I was going to fund my radical sabbatical? I regularly joked about getting a job at some coffee shop along the beach. I’m beginning to accept that it might be my reality.
  2. My need to be in control of everything that happens. I tried mapping out my entire trip so I knew exactly what I wanted to do and when. I had to let that go. I have my first two weeks planned, and that’s it.
  3. My sadness over people I’m leaving behind. I think that’s been the hardest part. There are people who do not deserve to “come with me” any more. We’ve said our goodbyes and now it needs to end. I cannot seek comfort in their company when I’m feeling lonely or when I eventually come home. It’s time to meet some new people.

What are the mountains that you’ve been carrying that were meant for climbing (I just love the picture Najwa Zebian paints in my head, don’t you?). Is there something you’ve been holding onto for far too long or that you’ve packed away that is weighing you down?

What will it take for you to leave the things weighing you down behind?

After all, you can’t bring it all with you.

Current countdown till my departure is: 3 Days, 14 Hours, 55 Minutes.

Onwards,
-Zaighum

I’m on my Way

Zaigh'sLeave a comment
Great Ocean Road
Victoria, Australia

“I stopped telling myself that I’m lost.

I’m not.

I’m on a road with no destination, I’m just driving with hope that I’ll find a place that I like and I’ll stay there.

I’m not lost, I’m on my way.”

-Ahunnaya

This will be my fifth time flying visiting Australia. You would think I’d be experienced enough to know my way around the CBD (Central Business District) or around my little beach town of Cronulla.

Not even close.

I cannot count how many times I’ve messaged whoever I was scheduled to meet to inform them that I was lost and would be late.

Two things I hate being is lost or late.

During my December 2018 visit, I frequently found myself getting lost as I made my way to my destinations. It was usually because I wasn’t paying attention, took a wrong turn and ended up in a place I had never been before. My commute would be extended anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour.

I continued to grow frustrated with myself as this regularly occurred. I’d ask myself, “Zaighum, how do you not remember?!”, “You’ve been here so many times!”, and of course “Can you not read a street sign?!”

I couldn’t even follow Siri’s instructions as she explained the route using Google Maps.

Pathetic.

My worldview on getting lost changed on December 20, 2018.

I was on my way to Circular Quay to see my cousin for lunch. I like to get off the train at Town Hall Station then walk a few blocks to get there.

I don’t really understand what happened, but I somehow ended up at Barangaroo. See below what was supposed to happen:

Map 1 (Left): Expectation
Map 2 (Right): Reality

“Idiot”, I muttered to myself.

I messaged my cousin to let him know that I would be running late. He didn’t care (I mean he shouldn’t have, I was paying for lunch after all). He didn’t ask how long I would be. He didn’t ask if I wanted to reschedule. He just told me he’d be waiting for me when I got there.

So, I sat at Barangaroo Wharf waiting for the ferry to arrive. While sitting at the wharf, I began to reflect on my frustration.

So what? I was lost. Was it the end of the world? No. I found a ferry wharf and I’d be at my destination in twenty minutes. Was I in a sketchy area of the city? Nope. It was quite lovely where I was. It was a sunny day, there was shelter from the sun, I had a water bottle to keep myself hydrated and my phone had a full battery with plenty of data to help the time to pass.

I embraced the place that I was in and chose to enjoy what was around me. I was in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. So many people long for the opportunity to visit Australia, but never end up making it.

I was here, and I needed to seize the day.

Barangaroo Wharf
Sydney, Australia
December 20, 2018

The ferry eventually arrived, and I made my way across the water towards my destination. The detour that I made in error reminded me how fortunate I was to be “lost” in the city that I love so much. I waved at other passengers on the ferries sailing by, I paused and stared at the creepy looking entrance of Luna Park, then I just sat in awe as I sailed under the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Three quick stops later and I arrived at Circular Quay Wharf.

Barangaroo to Circular Quay Route

As I prepare for the next 365 Days that are ahead of me, I am letting go of my fears of being lost. I don’t even know where my final destination is as I travel and explore the country I am choosing to call home a year. I couldn’t tell you where I am going to end my trip both literally and figuratively; I don’t know what cities I will visit, who I will meet, or what I’ll learn about myself.

I can tell you this: I will live in the moment and embrace the journey ahead.

I’m not lost, I’m on my way.

Onwards,
-Zaighum

What is a “Radical Sabbatical” and why am I going on one?

Zaigh's5 Comments

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, come humour, and some style” – Maya Angelou

I first heard the term “Radical Sabbatical” while listening to The RobCast: Sounds like Davin Young. Davin speaks about a season of his life where he experiences great success in both his professional and personal life, only to be met with burnout.

The feeling of burnout was met with great loss. He tells himself during this season of his life that he shouldn’t be burnt out, however he develops guilt and shame as a result of not being where he had pictured himself to be. So, he embarked on a Radical Sabbatical which took him out of his current space and into a season of self-discovery. In his time away he had a “sky splitting open” moment where he finally found the clarity that he was seeking.

Now, I don’t know about you but let me tell you, I was completely undone when I heard his story because that was where I was at in my own life.

As you read in my description, I am a Canadian Millennial that “had it all.”

I was well educated; I carried three credentials from three reputable institutes in the Metro-Vancouver area and was not burdened with student loans. I loved my job; had the best boss who I would literally go to the ends of the earth for, had a flexible schedule and working arrangements, did rewarding work in my community, got four weeks vacation a year, full dental/medical benefits, and collaborated with talented individuals locally and globally. I had a fully loaded and reliable car (well, it crapped out on me just before I became (f)unemployed; but that’s a different story). I had a solid group of friends that I could call on at any moment, just as I would do the same for them. Oh, and I was debt free. All of this at twenty-six years old.

Despite “having it all”, I grew frustrated with myself for my inability to find joy in all that I had; it was exhausting. I was surviving, but I was not living.

Then I went to Australia.

I walked on beaches I had never walked on before. I visited new places that took my breath away. I went to old places that carried beautiful memories from my childhood. I tried new restaurants. I got lost almost every day as the streets I once knew were blocked off or shut down due to development. I discovered I like Rum and Whiskey. I put myself out there despite being uncomfortable meeting new people and would say “hello” to just about everyone I saw.

I fell in love.

Now, I’m sure the people who know me have an eyebrow raised. “Who did he fall in love with and what’s the story?!”

I fell in love with myself. I fell in love with who I am when I’m in Australia.

January 1, 2019. Sydney Opera House on SYDNYE 2018.
This photo was taken just after the fireworks concluded. I made the decision I was going to pursue my “Radical Sabbatical” while surrounded by 7000 spectators.
(little did I know, it was going to happen much sooner than I had planned.)

When I am in Australia, I do not care what my hair looks like. The humidity alone causes me to put my hair up in a bandana most days. I wear whatever I want, I can’t really wear layers as it’s too hot so I have to accept my body for what it looks like at the time. I eat and drink whatever I want and as much as I want because I don’t hear anyone telling me, “you’re fat/overweight” or “you’ve let yourself go.” I do not make a schedule of what my day is supposed to look like or meeting deadlines. I go to the beach at least two to three times a week. I am not screaming at the driver who cuts me off on the road or freaking out because of traffic because I can get everywhere that I need to get to on the train. The structure, control, and perfection that I obsess over melts away.

I get the rare opportunity to press “re-start” and write a new story.

So, I am boarding a plane to pursue my dreams in 8 Days, 14 Hours, and 25 Minutes. I have a one way ticket, a passport, a wardrobe, years of education and work experience, and the little finances I have left in my bank account.

I have asked myself to do three things during my Radical Sabbatical:

  1. Embrace rest
  2. Be outside daily
  3. Discover new places

I’m not sure where I go from here, but I can’t wait to find out!

Onwards,
-Zaighum