“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the most of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” – Gilda Radner

June 29, 2019
I can’t believe I’ve been (f)unemployed for a month.
I really thought I’d be getting ready to go back to work by now.
It didn’t actually hit me until I was on the bus going home.
I’ve sent 65 Resumes in under two weeks.
That’s right, 65.
Of the 65 resumes I’ve sent out, I’ve had ONE interview (by phone).
Yup, just one.
Both the Talent Acquisition Specialist and I agreed that while the job was perfect for me, I would be spending four hours per day on the train (two hours there, two hours back).
I had no choice but to go back to the drawing boards.
I was devastated.
All of my work experience, all of my education, all of my volunteerism.
Wasn’t that enough? Am I not enough?
Can you believe someone is this distraught about not working?
At the height of my emotional breakdown and identity crisis, I got a surprise phone call from a friend of mine living in Calgary, AB.
We did the usual catch up, then things got real.
He asked me how much I had saved to go on this trip? I brought what the Government of Australia asks Working Holiday Applicants to have in cash (or access to) when you arrive in the country. He asked me if I was alone? I wasn’t, I’m surrounded by family who I can reach within an hour. He asked me if there was food in the fridge? There definitely was. He asked me who I was staying with? I am staying with my cousin and her fiancé.
Then he asked, “then why are you in such a rush to go back to work?”
I was getting frustrated, I began to well up and my voice finally cracked as I said, “because I don’t know who I am without one.”
Without missing a beat, he said, “you did not pack up your life in Canada to just do the same thing in Australia.”

How fortunate am I to have friends who are willing to call me out on my shit?
I know of people who had it far worse when they did their working holiday and just came home early.
That won’t be me.
Sure, I’m not where I had planned to be, but I’m going to be just fine. Everything is falling into place (even though I can’t see it).
Who do you have in your life who can give you the tough love that you need to snap out of your pity party?
Perhaps you might need to give them a call and receive a pep talk.
Maybe you have to give someone a similar talk like the one I just got? I wasn’t expecting it or even asked for it … but oh, did I ever need it!
I’m blessed.

June 25, 2019
“Our self-identity should be defined as who we are as individuals. What we do for work is only a piece of our lives.” – Rachael Tulipano
So, I’m pressing pause on actively looking for employment for a little while. My “coffee shop job” isn’t going anywhere after all.

June 30, 2019
What am I choosing to do to make the time pass by?
I signed up for a one month gym membership (yes, I did). An acquaintance of mine told me about circuit training that he did at F45 Training. I will be going to the 6am classes, something that I was doing three days a week back home; I’m upping the game to try and do five a week!
I signed up for the 11km run! Sutherland 2 Surf is on Sunday, July 21st! It starts off in Sutherland and takes you all the way down to Wanda Beach in my favourite area Cronulla. I’ve never ran this kind of distance before and I’m so excited to push myself to do reach this new personal achievement!

Genesis 9:16 (NIV)
Cronulla, NSW
June 26, 2019
In order to get ready for my 11km run, I’ve decided I won’t just walk along my favourite beach … I’ll be running it! You can do a beautiful 10km run by running from South Beach to the Dunes and back. It’s a steady run along the boardwalk with beautiful ocean as far as your eye can see. I can’t wait!

June 27, 2019
When I don’t have plans in the shire, you best believe I’ll be going into the city! On Thursday, I went out for coffee and brunch with a new friend. We ended up walking over 23,000kms around the city where we went bar hopping, saw new suburbs I’ve never been to, tried some new eateries, spoke about our education, and we even went dancing in an underground club. I actually enjoyed myself. Like, who am?!

June 28, 2019
I have a few items on the to-do list this week:
- Go to the Canadian Consulate and request my absentee ballot for our Federal Election (just because I’m in a different country, doesn’t mean I surrender my democratic duty as a Canadian)
- Continue to go Church Hopping to find a new community (super tough because a lot of these churches are quite conservative, sigh)
- Take my “not so little” cousin out into the city
- Buy more socks, another pair of jeans and flannel, it’s about to get colder (I think I’ll go to a few thrift shops for the flannel)
- Celebrate Canada Day (without Poutine, sigh)
As I kick off week three of my Radical Sabbatical, I’m retelling the valuable words from my friend Somi in my head:
“Zaighum, you are a human being, not a human doing”.
I hope they can help you on your own journey!
Onwards,
Zaighum